Dear Sharon: I’m 79, she’s 38. Can we have a relationship if we are complete opposites?

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Dear Sharon,

Everyone has heard the old saying: opposites attract. While in recovery from surgery a few years ago, a particular nurse walked by my room several times a day. She had a cheerful aura and lovely smile I enjoyed seeing her pass by. Eventually, I spoke to her and we started talking casually each day. When the time came to leave the facility, I asked her if I could call her from time to time.  After a while, I invited her out to dinner and she accepted so we started to see each other on a casual basis. Can we have a relationship if we are complete opposites? I am 79, and she is 38. I am retired and she is working. I am a New Yorker and she was born in Jamaica, West Indies. She likes reggae and I like do-wops. But to my surprise, I enjoy her company and she enjoys mine. I believe we are at a turning point and I don’t know which way to turn. What should I do? Help me, please.


Smitten Senior

Dear Smitten Senior,

This is most definitely a dilemma and I’ll do my best to help sort it out. There are different levels of attraction; was your attraction to her physical, or do you have things in common? Will she want children,  or does she have any … and if so, how is that going to affect for your lifestyle? As you pointed out, you come from different worlds, decades, lifestyles. I  wonder how this will work out in time when she is a young woman wanting to go out with friends, and you are a senior homebody feeling perhaps lonely for her company. Is she looking for marriage or money or is she madly in love with you? I don’t know the answer to this. However, in closing, I think it’s possible to maintain a relationship with the differences you pointed out, however, I think you’d be the exception rather than the rule. I’d think long and hard about all of the ramifications as you make your decisions moving forward. All the best!

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LIfe can be daunting. Toss in a global pandemic, post-holiday season, new year, the mess of daily life. Maybe you need some light or clarity. You’ve got nothing to lose, so ask me a question. Family, love, relationships, work, life in general – all appropriate topics. Please be kind.

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Sharon is not a trained therapist or psychologist but has 20 years experience with couples in love, or who wish they were in love. She has made it her life’s work to join together those in love, legally or otherwise and has, to date, officiated 460 marriages. With Sharon’s natural instinct for love and relationships and the things that make them, and a kind and open heart, your submissions will be treated with respect and clarity.

Sharon owns Weddings with Spirit, and is a NH Justice of the Peace, an interfaith ordained minister, and is happily married.


About this Author

Sharon Curole

Weddings With Spirit

Sharon Curole is a NH Justice of the Peace, aka Wedding Angel, and a dedicated foodie.