February can be the cruelest of months in New England. It can be full-bore winter with all the snow and freezing temperatures we’ve avoided this year in December and January. It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.
It’s also a month of holidays and days of recognition, some serious, some shady and some downright silly.
The serious starts off with a month-long celebration of Black History Month with Rosa Parks Day recognized on the 4th. Black history is still being made. Valentine’s Day (14th) is candy, cards and Cupid. Presidents’ Day (19th) is about birthdays and selling cars. Only in America can you buy a Lincoln on Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.
Lesser known serious holidays are World Wetlands Day (2nd). The Day the Music Died is also on the 2nd. The Crystal Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa, still recreates the rock ‘n’ roll show from that night in 1959. The night ended in tragedy when Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper all died in a plane crash. International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation (6th) is a day that hopefully can be dropped from the calendar soon. A cruel month, indeed.
The 11th is International Women and Girls in Science Day. World Anthropology Day (16th) likely piggybacks on Darwin Day (12th). The World Day of Social Justice (20th) seeks to undo the effects of social Darwinism. World Thinking Day (22nd) hopefully impacts World Peace and Understanding Day (23rd) and No Brainer Day (27th). Rare Disease Day (28th) ends my list of serious February days.
Tops of the shadowy holidays is Groundhog Day (2nd) on which Punxsutawney Phil is rudely awakened. If he sees his shadow it’s six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t see his shadow it’s six more weeks of climate change. In either case, he goes back into his Pennsylvania tree stump and naps.
Lame Duck Day (6th) suggests holding a party for someone who’s retiring, has been fired or is quitting. Some lame ducks are lamer than others. Toothache Day (9th) was likely created by a dentist. Do not watch Dustin Hoffman and Sir Laurence Olivier in Marathon Man that day. It’s not safe. World Day of the Sick (11th) is equally sobering. Random Acts of Kindness Day (17th) assures that all mitzvahs and good deeds will remain in the shadows.
The silly days predominate. Play Your Ukulele Day (2nd) can combine with Work Naked Day (2nd). Play your ukulele naked. Oila! National Golden Retriever Day (3rd) comes with slobber and a tennis ball. Carrot Cake Day is also on the third.
Create a Vacuum Day (4th) is for engineers only. Repurpose that old Rainbow. Stuffed Mushroom Day is also on the 4th. Feels like a match with Chocolate Fondue Day (4th).
Carnival Friday in Brazil is on the 8th. Part of the show resembles Work Naked Day (2nd). Laugh and Get Rich Day (8th) is perfect for a Dad joke. Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? A: Meet me at the corner. Bagel and Lox Day is on the 9th.
Umbrella Day (10th) won’t hold up if it snows. The 10th is also World Pulses Day. We call pulses legumes. Don’t let a doctor take your pulse while holding a handful of lima beans. Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day (11th) advises to let go of any regrets. Don’t spill the beans.
Clean Out Your Computer Day (12th) should be recognized the entire month. Valentine’s Day shares the 14th with Library Lovers Day and Ferris Wheel Day. Reading will always take you to new heights. Valentine’s Day is also surrounded by other romantic days of recognition. I like Gumdrop Day (15th). Do a Grouch a Favor Day is on the 16th. You’d better or else.
National Popcorn Day (19th) is a great opportunity to watch and rewatch 1993’s Groundhog Day starring Andie MacDowell and Bill Murray. Murray’s Phil Collins only escapes the time loop when he channels the aforementioned Random Acts of Kindness Day (17th).
Single Tasking Day (22nd) folds in nicely with World Sword Swallowers Day on the 24th. Their dates are split by International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day (23rd). Tortilla Chip Day is also on the 24th. It goes without saying not to eat tortilla chips while sword swallowing. Lay off the chocolate fondue (4th) as well.
Public Sleeping Day (28th) is fully approved by Punxsutawney Phil.
John Angelo can be reached at timelywriter@hotmail.com
