It’s so easy to offer advice to people, advice that is worth exactly what they’ve paid for it. For instance, it’s easy for me to tell a young person, “If you’d stop buying those expensive coffees, you could afford to buy a house.”
A quick look at the math shows at $7 a day, it would only take about 12 years to save $30,000, a minimal down payment.
Likewise, it’s easy for me to tell a person to think about moving from Manchester to someplace cheaper.
With no car and/or no license, it’s pretty tough to live in, oh, just about any cheap place in New Hampshire.
Finally, it’s easy to suggest Manchester residents use the city bus system, something I’ve done lots of times, as have other Hope members.
Of course, none of us had ever taken the bus. Until today.
At a staff meeting earlier this week, I asked for a volunteer to complete a few errands using just the bus. Bret, a strapping young lad, raised his hand and said he was willing to do anything for Hope. Even ride the bus.
Today, Bret was given two ten-dollar bills, one to pay for bus tickets from Hope on Wilson Street to the Starbucks on South Willow and back, and the other for a cold coffee drink. For any auditors, Hope paid for the tickets and I paid for his drink—I want him to be able to afford a house in a dozen years.
Although it wasn’t part of Bret’s mission, he submitted the following report of his activities, not necessarily intending it to be seen by anyone but Hope staff. After a little bit of arm-twisting, Bret gave me permission to publish this. I think it gives a real clear look into what quality recovery can sound like.
As you all know, I was given a top-secret mission today by an anonymous Entity from the higher-ups.
I’m writing this to you all to debrief you on my experience – and an experience it was. I just want to start by saying, God was with me today (as he always is), I was able to see Him everywhere though.
I started off my journey at 293 Wilson St. at 3 p.m. on a scorching hot afternoon. Rob and Melissa greeted me as I walked into ‘The Hope Center.’ I hadn’t got a lot of sleep the night before knowing the task at hand today, so as soon as I saw Rob and Melissa they made me feel at ease when they welcomed me in.
I then walked to Dave’s dark office toward the back of the hall and was greeted by two silhouettes. ‘Hey Bret, how are you? You know what you have to do, right?’
“Yes!” I said with a nervous yet excited tone. A shadowy figure then handed me an envelope.
‘Half is from me half is from K****, it’s all there, you know what you have to do. Good luck”!
“Thank you,” I said, as I hesitantly walked back into the hallway.
As I got to the front of the Hope Center I was then confronted by Melissa and Rob yet again, but by this time the sense of ease and comfort I had when I walked in was all but gone.
‘Bret, we’re also going to need two things from you while you’re out there, an Iced blonde Vanilla Latte and a Caramel Frappuccino,’ one of them said. I still don’t know which one of them said it to me, my head was spinning at this point.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll get it done just make sure you text me the order, I have a built-in forgetter.”
As I walked out of the Hope Center into the Great Outdoors, I had a sense of gratitude wash over me. I remember when I used to walk and take the bus everywhere. I started thinking about how far I had come the past 20 months and how much more growing I have to do. I was excited to carry this mission out.
As I walked to the bus stop in front of Price Rite I was passing Dollar Tree. Behind the Dollar Tree there sat a very nice green dumpster. Again a sense of gratitude washed over me and I was reminded of the days I spent loaded behind the dumpster, HOPELESS.
As I walked up to the bus stop there was a sign and it said, ‘GOD LOVES YOU, YOU ARE HIS MASTERPIECE, GOD DOESN’T MAKE MISTAKES’. I knew I was exactly where I needed to be and a warm feeling washed over me. I was at home again. I said hello to the young lady waiting for the bus and asked if I could sit next to her. We started talking and come to find out, she lives in a sober house and has 9 years clean. She started telling me her story and that she was locked up for 10 years and just got out a year ago. She was on her way to work and explained to me in detail about how the bus system worked in Manchester. I told her where I was going and she assured me I was at the right stop and even gave me the app she uses for public transportation.
After 10 minutes of getting lost in conversation the bus pulled up. I got on and pulled out a $5 bill. ‘We don’t do change and a one-way fare is $2’ the bus driver said.
I looked in my wallet and pulled out my last two $1 bills with a sigh of relief. I sat down and enjoyed the AC. It was only about an eight-minute ride until we arrived at my stop. I got out, stepped on the sidewalk and realized how hot it was outside.
‘Back to reality, I hope I make it’, I told myself. I had about a 15-minute treacherous hike ahead of me. I was about halfway to my destination and realized I had no cigarettes.
‘Damn I hope there’s a gas station nearby’, I told myself.
I was dehydrated and needed a cigarette that was all I was certain about. I had almost completely forgotten about the task at hand. Thankfully there was a Mobil station at the end of the road. I walked into the Mobil and grabbed an ice-cold Essential 9+ PH water.
As I walked to the register I noticed a bunch of big boxes filled with a bunch of little colorful drinks. ‘Buzz Balls’ the label said. Buzz Balls? I picked one up and in the fine print it said 15% alcohol!?
Wow, 15% that’s some good shit I told myself. All of a sudden the idea of an ice-cold buzz ball on a hot summer night didn’t seem so bad… Suddenly one of the old timer’s (Booze-Fighting Mike) voices came into my head and said ‘Yea Bret go ahead and drink that, just remember before you do, take the house, take the car, take the job, take the relationships you’ve built and rebuilt, take your family, take your peace and serenity, and stuff it in that little bottle, and drink it all away, kiss it goodbye.’
I quickly remembered there was nothing left in that bottle for me and came back to reality.
I ended up buying some scratch tickets and cigarettes, I needed change anyway. On the way to Starbucks I stopped in PetSmart and looked at some gerbils. I got to Starbucks and placed my order.
Life is good I thought.
On the way back to the bus stop there was a man that said hello. He was holding a sign that said, “could you possibly offer me a blessing for some cooler weather (as all of us) PLEASE HELP ME!! GOD BLESS EVERYONE THANK YOU.” I handed the man a blessing, though it wasn’t warm weather, it was a $20 bill.
Again I was right where I needed to be and a sense of gratitude came over me that I could do that today. I used to fly a sign and sell water off the highway, I remember how grateful I was for every person that stopped to give me money and spread love through their positive words of encouragement.
Wow, what a day and it wasn’t even over.
I got back on the bus and saw two fellows I knew from a meeting. Again I was right where I was supposed to be.
I got off the bus and walked back to HOPE, I got there and the drinks were still cold. I handed over the goods to Rob and Melissa with gratitude. They were so happy they didn’t have to send out the dogs looking for me. I scratched my scratch tickets and I’m writing this to you guys now.
Thank you! Sometimes I struggle with gratitude but I was full of it today. They told me ‘Bret, compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.’ Stay grateful! Thank you for one more day!
