Counting Unhatched Chickens

“Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.”

Words of advice that have lasted the test of time often begin with the word “don’t.” The above phrase regarding chickens is one of the oldest, and some would say the wisest, of these. According to my research, this thought was recorded in print by Thomas Howell in New Sonnets and Pretty Pamphlets, 1570:

Counte not thy Chickens that vnhatched be,
Waye wordes as winde, till thou finde certaintee

It seems that Howell liked alliteration as much as his funky way of spelling.

Samuel Butler continued the pleasing rhyming in his expression of the advice, in the narrative poem Hudibras, 1664:

To swallow gudgeons ere they’re catch’d,
And count their chickens ere they’re hatched.

Not certain why Butler would write “catch’d,” with an apostrophe, and a line later then complete the rhyme by using “hatched,” with an -ed. Perhaps there was some historical significanc’e.

More than a few centuries earlier, this chicken expression can be found in Aesop’s Fables. In one titled The Milkmaid and Her Pail, a line from the tale reads:

“Ah, my child,” said the mother, “Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.”

Alas, perhaps Aesop was just trying to popularize the benefits of being vegetarian.

In 1977, just a few years into my baseball loving life, the Red Sox went on a West Coast road trip to play California, Seattle and Oakland and the Sox won all 9 games on the road, part of an 11 game winning streak and a stretch where they won 16 of 17. I do not recall them having such success on the road as they did during that 9 game road trip. They may have but I just do not recall that they did, particularly on the West Coast.

That road trip subconsciously may have been the launching pad for me where I often think the best possible result from an otherwise perceived negative, given the odds and likelihood of success. Even during the 86 years where the Red Sox had not won a championship, my fandom was unlike many regional fans who hoped for the best … but also expected the worst. So, perhaps it was because of that road trip in 1977, my first instinct has been to think it is always possible for the Red Sox to always win. It seems at the time that I liked to count my chickens and continue to do so today, even when those chickens haven’t given a hint of hatching.

This, of course, has led to some disappointments in my life.

Just a few weeks ago, area baseball writers and sportscasters were reporting on the looming West Coast trip of 11 games as possibly season defining for the 2016 Sox, even though they were having a relatively good July. They played well right after the All Star game, only to quickly lose 6 of 7 games before departing on this road trip. Most of the games out west were tightly played but there were some bone crushing losses and instead of going 8-3 or even 7-4, they ended the road trip 5-6.

But still I prefer to count my chickens before they are hatched. It’s just a naturally unnatural habit with me that I think positively, I don’t know why. More often than not, when I’ve applied for a job, I think positively about my chances … even if dozens (or hundreds) are in line for the position. This positive outlook has not led to employment in most cases, which is unfortunate, but walking around with a cloud of negativity over my head is also unfortunate and I have not liked that weather pattern in my life. I like to think positively. But I’m also a realist. An optimistic cynic.

I generally have had a positive outlook regarding my experiences with dating or online dating sites. Alas, not everyone else sees it that way. This, of course, has led to some disappointments in my life.

And that may be why I take a break from these online dating sites every so often. I don’t think that OKCupid has missed me.

I am reminded of a story from my days waiting on tables. Most people know and accept that people who rely on restaurant work as part of their living, more often than not get a low hourly wage. In most cases, the wage is less than half of what is accepted as the federal minimum wage. For instance, in New Hampshire, I believe it is about $3.2625 per hour (because that additional .0025 of a cent makes a big difference).

Be that as it may, I once had a family come into a restaurant where I worked. A couple and a little girl. Well, I wasn’t certain they were a couple as he seemed a bit older than the woman he was with. So he was either the woman’s father and the little girl was his granddaughter. Or they actually were a couple and he had started a family late–in–life. It’s really unimportant to the chickens being counted in the story...

They were all eating relatively light: an iced tea, a wine, a couple of appetizers and something from the children’s menu. The bill was somewhere between $30 to $40 if I recall. In retrospect, I guess the “chickens” I was working on were between a $4.50 and $6 tip (at least) since most people tip 15-20 percent. I assumed this even though I have rarely kept tallies in my head — whether I have worked in an office or a restaurant, what I earned at the end of the day/week/year was, simply, what I earned. Worrying about what I should have earned based on assumptions or presumed “unhatched chickens” just added to or created anxieties I did not need.

My experience with the above table went normally, though I do remember a fellow server stopping by with a refill of bread, which caught me off guard. It’s not like I had been so busy that I would have missed a refill of bread, and even so, they could have asked me personally instead of my fellow server. Still, I wasn’t aware of any issue and nothing was mentioned and so I kept up with my service, even making a comment about how good the bread was when dipped in the broth of one of the appetizers. I refilled waters and the gentleman’s iced tea and went on with my service to this and to other tables. After a time, I saw they were ready for the check. I ran his card, he signed the receipt they departed the table rather quickly.

I rarely, if ever, look at slips until a few minutes after people have left. At most, I’ve just glanced for a signature or that enough cash has been left to cover the bill. As I began to bus the table, however, I noted that the gentleman had left a zero in the tip line of the credit slip. This wasn’t unusual as many prefer to leave a cash tip. But I looked around and saw no cash left at all.

It is not like me — particularly in my life as a server or waiter — to be confrontational. Really. It’s just not in the Trahan makeup. (Looking at my folks, I know where I get this from.) But more than anything, I was curious. Had I offended? Had I erred in some egregious way? Many times, when customers intend to leave a message, they talk to a manager or leave less than 10 percent … which is generally even more insulting. I mean, if someone didn’t think my service was the best, it was still service. How would this gentleman have felt if I had not paid for his service? (My understanding is that there are a number of stories about Donald Trump doing such things with contractors.)

Oops. Sorry. Another Trump reference.

Be that as it may, my curiosity got the better of me and I questioned the customer as he was departing. I asked if there was something I did wrong or if I had offended. He said, “I think the tip speaks for itself.” I was still confused though. I asked if there was something specific I did so that I could correct it for future visits. “I don’t think there will be any future visits.”

And that was that. I didn’t press it any further as it was only a few bucks but still, it did stick in my craw for a bit of that day and I only recently thought of it again as I began writing this and thought of some unhatched chickens I may have counted in my life. I don’t recall being mad about it, just confused. I also found it a bit comical. Sure, I would have been more upset if the bill had come to hundreds of dollars, but it didn’t. But I did wonder why one table in another area of the restaurant would tip me $20 on a $50 check and this one leave me nothing?

Things even out over time, and I realize that. But if stiffing someone on a tip is intended to send a message or to be critical, my feeling is that it is better to make the criticism known so that people learn. (Even though some prefer not to learn and just to bitch about it — I realize that.) Some take the criticism and some don’t.

My feeling is why be unclear? Was I in the wrong to ask where I specifically erred or offended or was he in the wrong to make his statement without specifying anything in his statement? And did his statement justify an absolute zero tip if I hadn’t offended but simply gave (in his eyes) substandard service? From that guy’s perspective, I assume he felt (and perhaps still feels) he was in the right. I also assume that he continues to live his life this way. Taking his family out for a light meal and continuing to tip just as lightly — or not tip at all.

And yet, I continue to count unhatched chickens. You either get bitter or you get better. This, of course, has led to some disappointments in my life.

But however short or long, they are only disappointments.

I wonder what’s happening on OKCupid…

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