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Black women: the hardworking heart and souls of the community
One Sunday morning, as I was breezing through the aisles of Market Basket, I turned and nearly bumped into a woman with a cart full of goods. She didn’t skip a beat as she continued scanning the shelves for what she needed.
The woman is Shaunte Whitted of Manchester. She’s a long-term resident and owner of SDW Communications where she does public relations, event planning, social media management, as well as assisting companies with fundraising. She is a doting mother, daughter and friend and passionate community activist.
She is also my co-parent.
We spoke briefly as I eyed her cart, which was filled with everything our kids desired. There were also plenty of bargain items in her cart. She makes the most of every penny.
I’m sure that there are plenty of mothers who can relate to that. Her life is likely very typical of many women: hectic schedules, balancing love of family and career with the community — these are some of the common threads that bind us.
When she left Market Basket that Sunday morning, four or five women were doing the same thing. Regardless of their race, they were providers: hunter/gatherers.
I wanted you to meet this amazing woman and learn about her journey.
Anthony Payton: How long have you and your family been living in New Hampshire?
Shaunte Whitted: My grandparents moved to New Hampshire between 1973-1974. My grandfather, who was the patriarch of the family, was a retired N.Y.P.D police officer. Prior to his retirement, he and his partner were first on the scene of a bank robbery where 42 people were held hostage. This resulted in him arresting one of America’s most wanted.
Shortly after that, my parents moved to New Hampshire, where I was raised for most of my life. My parents came to New Hampshire to follow in the footsteps of my grandparents, who had settled down here.
Although they loved New York and the Carolinas, they felt that it was time for a change — a change that would also bring us closer to our grandparents.
Although at the time, New Hampshire didn’t offer much in terms of diversity, my parents were determined to make their mark. The low crime rate, reasonable cost of living and being with family were the biggest selling points of my parents moving here.
I wound up attending primary school, middle school, high school and college here in New Hampshire. That experience shaped and molded me in different ways.
It opened my eyes to having compassion towards people who are different from me. I understand what it’s like to be the only one. To be in the spotlight because of your uniqueness, yet feeling isolated because no one around you can truly relate.
With that being said, it’s important for me to point out that I’ve also made lifelong friends from my childhood. I never tried to hide my identity, and I was very progressive when it came to highlighting both men and women of color who have helped shape this country for the greater good.
I’ve been in white homes, played with white children, and have had white neighbors. Yes, I’ve also had bad experiences. I’ve had teachable moments with white friends who were insensitive to things that people with my skin color go through. However, I’ve had just as many good experiences and moments of enlightenment.
In terms of the makeup of classrooms, things have slowly gotten better. Seeing the rainbow of colors while picking up my sons from school was an example of that. Nowadays, I can see the same thing in my daughters’ classrooms.
That’s one of the things that I would want for my children. To be able to see little boys and girls who also looked like them and to not have that feeling of isolation. Nor did I want them to have to carry the burden of being the only one.
Anthony Payton: In terms of race relations and diversity, can you describe some of the things that have gotten better and some that may still be stagnant?
Shaunte Whitted: In my opinion, as a parent, I do feel that it’s still very stagnant. I feel as though if I want my children to see a diverse group of people who are able to celebrate their peoplehood, then I have to be a part of it. I’m the one who has to facilitate it, coordinate and align people, and that can be very exhausting.
For example, in my home I make sure that my children know about the people of color who’ve paved the way. I have books on everyone from Maya Angelou to Frederick Douglas. I want them to see and know those faces because I feel that it’s very important for their self-esteem and growth.
I want them to know about that part of American history as well. I believe that our history shouldn’t be reduced to the shortest month of the year in Black history month. Black history is American history. And I make sure that they understand that.
What I have seen improve is New Hampshire’s acceptance of the immigrant population, which I think is great. We get to see a lot of different backgrounds and cultures here because of New Hampshire’s openness to accepting refugees.
But again, once they’re here it seems like a challenge to celebrate their peoplehood and share in the diversity they have. I’ve seen eyes rolled at African and Middle Eastern women who wear traditional garb and maybe hijabs on their heads.
There is plenty that we can learn from these men and women in terms of perseverance and culture. Also, a lot of them are very family-based, as well as many of our Latino populations who have migrated here.
They are assimilating into our American culture while at the same time, they’re understandably honoring some of the positive customs and traditions of their homeland.
Anthony Payton: Tell us about some of the community and diversity projects that you’re involved in.
Shaunte Whitted: I’ve been a member of the committee, “We are 1,” which is a celebration of African, Caribbean, and Latino culture festivals. These used to be separate festivals, but after 12 or so years, they had to combine due to an exhaustion of resources. We’re hoping to see if we can move forward with that festival this year.
In November of 2020, I was nominated to be vice president of the local NAACP, but wasn’t able to accept the position at the time, due to family commitments. I work with the New Hampshire Black Women’s health project, which is a nonprofit organization that was started roughly 11 years ago. I assist them with getting eligible grant money and event planning.
Those are just a few of the local diversity projects and organizations that I’m involved in.
Anthony Payton: Describe what it’s like being the mother of a young Black male, teenager and young girl in New Hampshire?
Shaunte Whitted: It’s a constant balancing act of instilling their individual selves and promoting them to live in their truth, while at the same time realizing that not everyone values their individual truth.
When I’m asked this question, I usually reflect back to 2016-2017, when both of my boys were upset at the idea of being gunned down by police. That’s a difficult conversation to have. When I went to work I had to hold back tears about the conversation that I just had.
At the same time, I look around the office and none of my co-workers look like me. None of my friends at work could relate on that level. So, as a Black mother, you’re constantly having to veil yourself and be strong.
My oldest son Tyrell, a graduate of Plymouth State University, rarely ever called home in the middle of the night while he was away in college. Except for one night, he called me at 1 a.m. and told me that he and his friends were out eating and were approached by someone who identified himself as a white supremacist.
He was in tears because, as you can imagine, it was unnerving. Being woken up in the middle of the night by those kinds of stories is very scary and very real.
Tyrell is a founder of Black Lives Matter in Manchester, an openly bisexual male, assists in the gay pride parade each year, and he’s also a hip-hop artist. We both wear many hats, and as a mother, it can be worrisome and proud.
My middle son, Tavon, is very athletic, very outgoing and volunteers for the Boys and Girls Club. He’s a great and well-rounded young teenager, but he also stands 6-feet tall. And in the eyes of someone who’s looking to hurt him, he can be seen as a threat. So again, it’s that balance between pride and fear.
Anthony Payton: As a parent, how do you navigate through those waters with them?
Shaunte Whitted: I make sure that they are true to themselves, but also understand that there are people out there who will judge them unfairly.
So it’s having those talks about making sure that their hands are visible and they aren’t aggressive if they’re ever accosted by the police.
It’s also being aware of their surroundings, if and when they venture off into different areas of the state that aren’t as diverse.
Manchester has rising issues with gun violence and crime overall. But as young men of color, they have to be careful of how they carry themselves.
When dealing with areas and people who have no exposure to different cultures, these people will generally use stereotypes as their measuring stick. To them, my beautiful sons may be the latest gangster rapper that they see and hear on the television screen.
I’m proud of their accomplishments, yet I worry about their safety. There’s also the need to make sure that they have compassion for others and not to become bitter towards others about the way that they’re viewed.
We talk about those issues periodically, and I always remind them to be patient with people, make new friends, but continue to be careful. There is such a delicate balance.
My youngest is my daughter, the princess, Amelia. Being the mother of a young Black girl in New Hampshire isn’t an easy task. There aren’t as many role models here in New Hampshire as in some other places. So that burden is on me to work extra hard to be that role model — as a mother, business owner and community leader.
Anthony Payton: You have a branding and communications business here in New Hampshire. You also manage your daughter’s business, Faith Fashions. How do you make so many elements work together in harmony?
Shaunte Whitted: Faith Fashions is relatively easy because it’s all organic. We allow Amelia to make a lot of the decisions regarding creativity. It’s a creative endeavor, and we don’t want to stifle the creativity of a 7-year-old girl.
The management that I do is mostly logistics. Like ordering the items, dealing with vendors and prints for her T-shirts, and looking for a seamstress to help get skirts into her clothing line.
I believe that it’s ventures like this that will help instill a sense of pride and business sense into my daughter. These are the skills and mindset that will last into adulthood.
She will learn what it means to lay the groundwork for her own future and have a voice in that. The media has been doing a better job in the images shown of Black girls and young women, but there’s still a long way to go.
More often than not, the images shown are that of young, promiscuous, and half-dressed girls of color who are loud and classless. I want her to know something different and to set the bar higher for herself.
Anthony Payton: In parting, what concrete strategies can be used to ensure inclusion, diversity and growth within New Hampshire communities for people of color?
Shaunte Whitted: Welcome the idea of reparations. At least listen to what reparations are, and not just assume that people just want a paycheck. People really want full repair; that’s what reparations are all about.
This isn’t about just giving checks to random Black people because that would be catastrophic when you consider the lack of financial education and resources in the inner cities. And quite honestly, that won’t be the holy grail either, but it would be a huge start.
When an open-minded person considers the generational gaps in education and economics, that’s something that ties directly to slavery, and its trickle-down effect is still felt.
If one were to bring up issues in the Black communities such as self-sabotage, fatherless homes, or a culture that’s poorly prioritized, those would be valid points.
However, those points are minuscule when it comes to programs set in place to keep Black people down. Plenty of people have faced hardships on American soil, but none can compare to what has happened to the Black community.
Reparations aren’t about victimhood or blaming white people. It’s about repair.
I’m also a member of N.C.O.B.R.A (National Coalition of Blacks for Reparations in America). I work on their marketing and information team about what reparations can do for everyone, not just people of color.
Also, let’s work on building our policing system. I don’t have all the answers, but I don’t sit with the mindset of people who want to defund the police.
I guess it’s because of my upbringing, being raised by a former police officer. I do see the necessity for policing people. Let’s revamp our current policing system, where the updated system would be just as focused on building strong community relationships with the people.
I’m not sure if this is currently being done, but invite some of these at-risk youth down to the police station. Show them the good and bad of police work. Let them see that cold holding cell.
This would possibly be the first time that these young men and women step foot into a workplace. Things like this build a strong bond, and it may plant those seeds of prosocial behavior in those young men and women.
I believe that the P.A.L. (Police Athletic League) is a great thing. It’s always good to connect the police and children. I would hope that more children of color are involved because that trust needs to be there.
We see so many images of the conflict between the police and communities of color, and we need to be careful that we don’t continue to create generations of distrust. This especially holds true in a state like New Hampshire, that’s over 90 percent white.
So when I speak about changing the system, that’s just a part of my personal opinion. Rebuilding and re-educating would be a step in the right direction.
Again, I believe in law and order, but just as much effort has to be placed in building these communities.
Also, effectively and compassionately engage with marginalized people and people with mental health issues.
One of my good friends is a state trooper, and we share the same belief that not all police are racist, tyrants, etc. Most of them just want to serve and protect.
New Hampshire still has a long way to go in terms of diversity and inclusion, but it’s been my home for decades. Its growth, inclusion and diversity are things that I hold hope for, so I do my part in the community.
These articles are being shared by partners in The Granite State News Collaborative as part of our race and equity project. For more information, visit collaborativenh.org.
