Shampoo, booze, and reciprocating saws

Alcohol and drugs may at some point have been razors for me, although I couldn’t remember that time.  I’d misused and abused powders and liquids and pills and herbal supplements  long enough that I had transformed them into a Sawzall, a reciprocating saw.  For those not familiar with reciprocating saws, here’s an apt description from handyman.com. READ MORE
Not That Profound

No Country for Old Moderates

In college and throughout my early adulthood, I fashioned myself a progressive. I grew my hair long and wore tie-dye shirts and burned Sandalwood incense and even went to a Dead show—weeks before Jerry Garcia died (nota bene: I still love The Dead). In the 90s, this was considered “woke.” But there was a problem with this posture. READ MORE

Halfway Out: Life after incarceration

I write this from a room of which I share with three other residents. We’re all grateful to at least be halfway out of the prison, and we look forward to the next step, which is getting our own places. I’m lucky to have a supportive family, and safety net. Even with the aforementioned weapons, it’s still hard. The transition isn’t easy. A lot of it comes down to resources, ego, humility and discipline, but also the want and need to stay the course. So I continue to trust the process and follow the game plan that I made while doing time.  READ MORE

I don’t know horses, but I know people in recovery

If I had to place money on either a horse race or on picking winners from early recovery, I’d be a better bettor at Pimlico or Churchill Downs than at a church basement or outdoor All-Recovery meeting. At the track, at least I’d have luck on my side—along with a little bit of information about the horses’ previous record. In early recovery, where most folks look like they’re way below down on their luck, appearances can be are deceiving. READ MORE

Game On: Fall Guys Ulitmate Knockout

Hope we are all having a safe week, staying masked-up and protecting our loved ones and fellow community members! I also really, REALLY hope you all enjoyed “GAME ON: 9 MUST PLAY GAMES THIS WEEK!” I put some time to the side and tried my hand at all but one. Apparently my cell phone doesn’t meet the qualifications for NBA 2k21 Mobile! Lesson learned! READ MORE

Perspective: What recovery looks like

I’ve been down many times in my life, looking up at people in the power structure, whether case managers, or food pantry workers or just someone to bum enough money for smokes off of. That stinks. They didn’t seem fully human to me when I gazed up the nostrils of privilege or stared hopefully at the chin of pride and arrogance. At least, that’s how people above me always appeared, no matter what they did to try to establish “rapport,” which all too often just made me more suspicious of them.  READ MORE

Spirituality and Recovery

I am one of the last people you should listen to on issues of spirituality. After all, when I first got into recovery, my higher power (Higher Power for those of you for whom higher power is a substitute word for God) was an imaginary number—i is the symbol for the square root of -1, a value that does not exist for square roots must be positive. Although imaginary, i is indispensable in solving some quadratic equations. If math problems can be solved with a nonexistent value, then it was good enough to help me solve the problem of my life. If nothing else, it placed something outside my will, ego and appetite at the center of the universe. READ MORE