I am a partner. One part of two.
I have had the comfort of intimacy for four decades.
I have been given the gifts of conversation and unquestioning forgiveness.
Occasionally, a reason and a situation arises where she is gone and I find myself alone,
I see the house differently.
I sit in a different chair,
I do not eat at the table.
Our pets act differently around me, as they search for what is normally there but is missing.
I follow them as they search the rooms.
Time is out of sync. The normal schedule is not followed.
I find myself with car keys in hand wanting to go somewhere, to be around people but for a reason I can’t explain.
I drive for a short time with no destination in mind, the radio on, and come back confused as to why I left.
I sleep on my side of the bed just because.
I still pull the bedroom door closed when I leave in the morning out of reflex as I am always the first to arise.
I laugh at myself as I hold the door handle.
When she walks in the door we will embrace like lost lovers,
I will act as if she was just returning from a short errand.
OK, so now you know that I am a sentimentalist, but still I gotta eat. This is a go-to 15-minute recipe that I have paid large dollars for at a restaurant in Sicily. The difference being I use canned tuna as opposed to the fresh seared yellow fin I was served; still it is delicious. Maybe you, unlike me, will not eat it standing up. Double the recipe if your better half shows up.
- 2 oz dried pasta
- 1 small can of Italian tuna in olive oil * substitute seared fresh tuna sliced on the bias
- 1 tablespoon chopped flat-leaf parsley
- 2 oz chopped black olives
- 1 oz capers
- 1 small tomato seeded and chopped
- Crushed red pepper ( as much as you can take)
- Grated Parmesan (a lot)
- A small scoop of pasta water. * the magic ingredient
- Crusty bread
Put it all in a bowl and mangia along with a small green salad. I drank too much Pinot Noir with mine.