Can you do it all? Can you work, be fit, take care of the kids, visit the family, have time for friends, have some me time … and so on. How do you cram it all in? Can you and not be a stressed out hot mess? Something has to give.
Back when I was in high school it was all about women having it all, doing it all. Career, husband, kids, etc. I swallowed the Kool-Aid and believed I would be that woman. Then some years later I became a mom and I very quickly realized it was all BS – they failed to tell you if you “have it all” nothing gets done well and you feel like you are constantly on the edge. Truly you can not do it all and remain sane.
I chose my family before career and that helped keep some of my sanity (I am sure my hubby will laugh at this comment … sanity HA!). Was my life balanced as a stay at home mom and part time employee? Sort of. Was I able to do more? It was easier to manage. I was able to control the chaos a little more, but having it all … hmm … not really. Most days the ball got dropped on something and the guilt would hit that I did not; exercise, see my family, have lunch with a friend, clean the house, make a wonderful dinner etc etc.
As the years went by and I got wiser (and yes older, darn it). In order for me to have a balanced life I don’t do it all. The four biggest things that I have learned to balance my life are: 1. To make choices; 2. Prioritize; 3. Say NO; and 4. Ask for help. I have accepted that you can’t have it all, you can not be all and do all. When you try to do it all, things don’t get done well. I would rather do something really well once than do something half-assed and have to fix it later. Multi-tasking kills quality. Too much on your plate runs you ragged, and you can not give 100 percent. I think it is so important to be happy with what you have and what you do.
You need to choose what is most important at the time and stick with that. Make it the priority and do it well. It is OK to tell someone no. You don’t need to feel guilty. And most importantly, asking for help is not a weakness. People love to help it makes them feel good and needed.
The past couple months have been crazy for me. I had some big business changes and some s#%* did not get done. Did I want to do it? Sure but I let it go and did not beat myself up for it. I did not get to workout they way I like, I did not get to see friends or family much, business things got dropped (blog writing for one) and my house has gotten a bit cluttered.
You need to pick your priorities and know the rest will still be there. I am now catching up with friends, family, exercise and all the rest. Every day is a balancing act. I still struggle with asking for help and I struggle with the guilt for not getting things done. But knowing that I am not alone in not being able to do it all helps.
Trying to do it all is very stressful. Stress is the underlying cause of so many illnesses – anxiety, depression, muscle tension, tension headaches and more. Remember your priorities, ask for help, say no, and take time for yourself. Exercise, meditate, and get massage. These all help relieve stress so you can live a balanced life. You may not have it all but what you have is less stress and some peace of mind. And that is important.
Lisa Poole has been a licensed New Hampshire Massage Therapist since 2011. She is the owner of Peaceful Strength Massage Therapy located in Bedford, NH. She has an Associate of Science degree in Exercise Science with 10 years experience as a personal trainer. She worked for a major insurance carrier for more than eight years and has a great appreciation for the stresses of working behind a computer for 8 hours a day.
Lisa is a lifelong resident of New Hampshire. A parent of two boys (young men), and is married to her high school sweetheart. Exercise and wellness are tremendously important to her. Personal experience has taught her the importance of
balance between family, job and fitness. Lisa’s goals are to share her knowledge, help make people feel better and lead healthier lives.
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